Utah

Well it was hard but made it thu it. Hunter has grown up so much since I saw him last. Tuesday after I got there I got to meet both sides of the family. It was cool, felt little outta place. Wednesday we stayed in it was really cold out. I played w Hunter alot. I hated the feeeling that I was a stranger to the baby I carried. But he is in a place where he is more then loved and cared for. Sam told me I wasnt there to babysit but to get quality time w Hunter!! Made me cry. Wednesday we went shopping at 1:30 and didnt come back til alomost midnight. hehehe. Got all our shopping done.
I told Tara about the dream I had while I "was out" and Hunter started crying after ward and Mel(Sams sister in law) looked back at him and said "It ok Timothy, your not died." Dont know if anyone knows about the dream. So I will explain. In the dream I was walking down the stairs and my sister, best friend, Kate, friend Bob and my mom( which was odd cuz she is n prison) were saying we cant tell Crystal. I come in and ask tell me what? LeAnn comes up and says she has to tell me. She puts her hand on my shoulder and says Timothy died and we threw his body along 26. :S And so we went out looking for him. And I woke up knowing I had had a baby but he was no where to be found so I thought that really did happen :(

Over all it was a good trip, hated leaving. They will be up this summer!!! Here are some picture I took. Tara took some and will take them off her blog once she posts them.

This is how I remembered him

This is him now. Way different

This is a the temple. They were getting ready to light the lights. It was so pretty but freezing.

First but hopefully not the last snow fall of the year!!

Woke up this morning to snow!! In Oregon snowing, doesn't happen that often. It snowed a little bit Friday night, Carmen thought I was nuts when we were outside. But anyways it so pretty outside when it snows. Its cold, like 27 out there. Suppose to get more Thursday or Friday, while I am away. :( But thats ok, it worth it.
I am getting so excited but yet scared. First time I have seen Hunter since the placement. I dunno what emotions will come up.

long update

I havent been doing blogging that often.Sorry all.

Hernia sugrary went good, still a little sore around the NEW BELLY BUTTON!!! It looks so much better then it did. Normal stomach now not big ugle scar where stomach should be. Was only in hospital for 4 days this time, lot better then last time.

Started worked full time Nov 1st. I like some times love it. The lady I "help" is such a sweetie. I am friends with her daughter which makes it hard cause her daughter gets mad at me for helping her mom, hello that is what I am there for. Daughter trying to get me fired I think.

Tiff's hernia sugrary went good as well. Her scar will be light.

Thanksgiving was better this year. OK beside morning trip to the ER. Nothing big. Had dinner at home. Then first time since my mom went away Tiff and I spent Thanksgiving together, it was so wonderful. We had it at her in-laws house(they love me to death). Since then Tiff and I have been spending more time together which I love. And more spoiling time for Noe!!!HEHEHE!!!

Sunday we went up to Coffee Creek to pick up some of my mom's stuff. Aj went in to see her. It was so hard. So close but so far away. My mom got to meet Noe for the first time!! AJ said she loved it. I get to write her now which is cool.

Next week is going to be so exciting. I am going down to Utah to see Tara, Sam and Hunter. I so cant totally wait. I havent seen them since March 27. And boy do I need a break. But that whole week. Monday see Josh(if the stupid people dont cancel it) leave Tuesday-Friday and on Saturday I have Oni!!! FUN FUN FUN.

here some new pictures of Oni and Josh

update

Oct 28, 2008 I go back in for the hernia thing. I am scared but I putting trust in the doctors not to screw it up this time. Bon will have my cell if anyone needs up dates.

So Hunter got sealed to Tara and Sam Saturday. I am so happy for them. Could not think anyone elsae I would wantto have him.

Here is one of the whole family.

Babies

this was so cute. Someone sent it to me on myspace. It fit all 3 kids I think in one way or another.

New pictures

So today was the last visit at the office with Josh and Josh together so we took some picture and thought I would share them with everyone

Josh being himself(silly)

I asked Oni to show me where her belly was, she lift her shirt up and showed me as Josh snapped the picture.

This one I asked her where her tongue was. Josh had such perfect timing on this one.

Josh wanted a funny picture of me. :S

Alot of Oni but not everyday she lets anyone take picture of her so took advantge of that.

her is one of all three of us!!!!

Here is my neice Noilani(I think that is how u spell it(bad Aunty, Bad))

This week has been good. Working part time as a caregiver!!!! Looking for another part time job need the extra income coming in.

Court

Had court hearing today. It went soo awesome I cant believe it.. Jugde want return to parent by feb!!! Just have to keep on this track and all is good. My psyic eval came back really good but he says I have Bipolar. ME? BIPOLAR? imagibe that. It called changed after almost died and fighting for my life HELLO dumby doctor. But will do what ever they want to get Josh and Oni

Monday is court again on kids. It going to go good since I have everything going now!!
Family skill builders every monday, counceling twice a month and working so no reason for them not to give Josh back. Start praying it happens. I want my boy back with me. Almost called him my baby but he is far from a baby now. I hope soon, as it stands now since they moved Josh, him and Oni dont get much time together anymore besides w me and that will stop next week with Oni coming out here to see me. I want my kids to grow up together. It is hard enough on Josh gasping that Hunter(Timothy) is not going to live with us. He refuses to call him Hunter. Just have work with him on it and understand his point of view. Will post Monday afternoon depending on if I moving or not but will find out tonight which one of us is, Jen or me. I hope Jen since I work in the town she doesnt but will c. But till Monday.

Just some picture I found and wanted to share

So here is some cute picture I wanted to share they are from a few months ago at the towns Garlic Festivals. It was really cool, all the kids enjoyed it!!!

Here is all the monsters top to bottome left to right:

Courtney 10(Oni's sister) Shelby 9 Joshua 7 Coral 6

Onicia 2 and Taylor 1.

We didnt notice the were in numberical order till right now

On way to Breakfest.

Now at Breakfest, mom took it at wrong time, had my mouth full. :)

Waiting for Parade

Onicia is Scared, holding on to me for dear life!!!

Adoption Poem

This poem is so true, the other blog I do the had it on it and I had to post it on mine. IT sad

~An Adoption Poem~
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give itO
ne gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fearsO
ne saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you
.Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.

4things tag

Four Things Tag
Ok first time I have been tag. Thanks Tara!!

Four random things I like about my husband:
1.Not married!!!!
2.
3.
4.
Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Food service Domino's Pizza
2. Day care assistant for"Grandma Rugrat Day Care
3. Blockbuster Video Customer Service Rep (long time ago)
4. Assistant\Receptionist for NuDawn Enterprises
Four movies I have watched more than once:
1. Loin King
2. What women Want
3. Juno
4.Harry Potter
Four TV shows I watch:
1. House
2. Bonesw
3. Smart then a 5th Grader
4. Law and Order
Four places I have been:
1.Texas
2. Washington
3. California
4. Missouri
Four people who e-mail me regularly
1. Desha
2. Ann
3. Tara
4. Michele
Four of my favorite foods:
1.omelletts
2. Ice Cream (even tho cant really eat it anymore:(
3. Chinese
4. steak
Four places I would like to visit
:1. New England
2. Canada
3. France
4. Florida
Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year
:1.Josh coming home
2.Watching Hunter grow up.
3. going to Arizone
4. living life to the fullist

Four People I tag: (no pressure, do it if you want to) [hmm do four people even read this blog?]
1. Desha
2. Bob
3..
4.

YEPPII

State came out today to do their Home study, at last and suprsie suprsie they could not find anything wrong. What a bummer(for them). We cleaned up last night and them got some goodies, cookies and ice cream. Which of course I got a upset tummy over the Ice cream. I wish I could eat it so bad with out being sick afterwards but It is okay. Their is perfest baby out there because of me. With a family that loves him to death that is what counts. Tara, There is no need to Thank me, you have enough by gived him a awesome home and being u, same with Sam.

Long week

So last week was horrible. Last Sunday was Tiffany's birthday and my brother n laws. She was mad at me so I could not see her. Dunno why. AJ took Noi so she couldn't see her own daughter on her birthday.
Monday was my mom's birthdy and of course I am not allowed to see her. Itis always hard on that day. My sister in law(best friend) made me stay with them where I would have someone htere if I needed to talk or a shoulder to cry on. Up side of Monday was got to see Oni and Josh all of a sudden which always makes me feel better!!!
Tuesday had court on them. Went awesome. Tom was not there by phone. Pre-trail was reschduled due the caseworker not having what she needed. If I keep up on the path I am on, Josh will be home in no time!!!!!!!!
Wednesday started off good. Then April called me saying there was 2 deputies looking for me. :( I guess the person who was suppose to be helping me while I was unable to do anything forgot to pay fines which made me really mad. They gave ne 3 options to do. Pay all my fine, pay my back plus this month or turn myself in. First and third one were a no og so I ened up paying 225.
Thursday was just stressing over the week think nothing else could go wrong this week.
Friday About noon JT texted me asking why Josh was getting moved. I replied WHAT. He called me since I had no idea what was going on with that. The state was at the apartment packing all of his stuff to move him away from his aunt. I called everyone to get answers on what was going on. from what a supervisor said his aunt and grandma werent meeting his needs like the had hope. I was not happy. Last Monday I talked to Josh to find out more about where he had been placed. He is in Hillsboro with more boys and 2 parents, I guess that is better?
I have had long talks with Michele. we see eye to eye now, she knows how it feels to have people lie about them and have a child yanked out her care. I wasnt the one who turnede her in, but I know who did.
Well that is all for now. It a pretty big so far.

First Post

I am a single mom. Have 2 kids.
Joshua who is 7 and in the 2nd grade this year.









Joshua being silly!!









Onicia who is 2.












My baby girl and me









I have a 3rd baby who is 5 month old. I placed him with a awesome family, not in a time of ,my life where I want 3 kids. I love them to death.
Here is Hunter Allen













Here the whole Winsor family. Such sweeties










Well I am 27, not married. Kids are all I need and bout to lose that if other don't wake up and see what is really happening here. I not workiung at moment hopeful soon I will be. Been down due to a bad doctor. Long story.